At The Well – Making the Home More Inviting for the Kids

Gathering At the Well

The discussion questions for this week are:

Are there areas of hardness and coldness in my life? What are the roots of these? Do I need to release someone who has hurt me in my past? Do I need to confess and release myself from the bondage of sinful patterns in my own life?

What are some ways that I can turn the conversation around when other women begin to gripe and complain about their children?

Name some creative ways we can create warmer, more inviting environments for our children.

I used to be angry at my dad for being always in a hurry when he is at home; being angry at little things; not being “open” with us. I didn’t understand then that he might be tired, just wants the best for us or that he just doesnt know how to “talk” to us. It took me years to understand. Now that I am a mother, I pray that I will be able to learn from my dad’s shortcomings.

I have to remember : The children doesn’t REALLY KNOW what I feel (if I’m tired or stressed or how my day has been). The children WANTS me to talk to them and make them part of my world. They WANT me to be INTERESTED at them and their world. The children LOVES me. They don’t want to see me sad, angry or lonely. If they see I’m angry, they might THINK its because of them.

Since my kids are ages 5 and 2, I play with them as much as possible, goof around with them, read books together, sing songs, dance together, watch movies beside them, talk to them, bring them to the playground. Be INTERESTED in them. LISTEN to them. BE THERE.

If other moms are complaining, maybe we can remind them of how blessed they are to have children. Many women want to become moms but aren’t as blessed. Another is to ask the moms about the positive traits of their children. Lastly, maybe I would recommend that the mom re-evaluate herself too. A lot of times, children only reflect what they see in us.

I am no expert in this area, so I am excited to read entries from more experienced moms out there. Let’s check out what they have to say!

Comments

  1. momstheword says:

    Great post, Chris. When I was a little girl my dad had a very stressful job. We were expected to whisper and tiptoe in the house after he first got home from work.

    That was to hard to remember so we spent much of our time outdoors. Eventually my dad got a different job and he became much more relaxed.

    I think that creating boundaries for kids is a good idea so that they know what to expect. But we need to be reasonable. We shouldn’t have to put up with screaming and yelling but laughter is always o.k. and we shouldn’t expect them to whisper either.

  2. i have quite a good childhood. my dad wasnt that “cold” to me. he’s just a typical tyrannical dad. what he wants us to do, we must do. now that im a mom, a no-expert mom, i notice that i get upset easily if things werent done the way i want them to be done. naha-high pitch ako minsan hehe.
    im a woking mom, so its really easy for me to say im already tired but i always make sure that i give quality time to my son. it’s hard, tao lang tayo, we get physically exhausted at times. that’s why i make sure that i get enough rest and some loving-my-self regimen to get me going and rejuvenated. we need our “body” to be strong and healthy first and foremost so we could give love and time to our children.

    this is a great post. kudos!

  3. Dance with me, this was one of my favorite thing to do with my grandaughters. I remember the movie Trading Places. It was about a mother and daughter who got caught in each others body. After the movie, Autum and I skipped all the way to the car.

    What fun.
    June

  4. What a great post. It is so important to look beyond our point of view to how others feel, Gives a whole new perspective! Thanks for sharing.

  5. Laurie Ann says:

    Excellent post! What a stirring topic this was for me. Sent my mind and heart swirling…

  6. “I have to remember : The children doesn’t REALLY KNOW what I feel (if I’m tired or stressed or how my day has been).”

    It is really humbling when you have to be told what you already know. My hubby always says “Don’t tell me trees have green leaves.” Sometimes I think I get a little bit color blind and have to be reminded that the leaves of the trees are green.

    Wonderful beautiful post.

  7. I agree with Raye Ann. I liked, “The children doesn’t REALLY KNOW what I feel (if I’m tired or stressed or how my day has been). The children WANTS me to talk to them and make them part of my world. They WANT me to be INTERESTED at them and their world.”

    They don’t understand my “moods.” And it’s important I don’t dump my “moods” on them!

    Thanks for the reminder.

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