Motherhood from Another Perspective #1

I am happy to have Molly from The Bumbles Blog as a guest blogger today. Molly lives with her husband Andy outside of Boston, Massachusetts. They created The Bumbles Blog in October, 2008 to share their virtual home in the blogosphere where any and all are welcome to stop by for some comic relief, book discussions, movie games, travel stories, musical thoughts, and glimpses of what they see through the lens of their camera. When they aren’t blogging, they are working hard in the real world or creating memories with family and friends – or watching baseball. I am so happy that she has agreed to be my first guest blogger! 🙂 I asked her if she would like to post about motherhood from her perspective and her is what she has to say…

I am not a mom. Someday I could be. What the future holds no one knows. But I do know that motherhood is the most demanding, ungrateful, selfless job women can take on. I know this because I watch you. I help you. I empathize with you.

A great friend of mine just recently became a mom for the first time a few weeks before turning 40. She had not expected her first shot at motherhood to come with twin boys. Like all rookie moms she felt woefully unprepared for her new job. She went through borderline postpartum. She argued with family members more interested in being critical than helpful. She was amazed by the functioning ability she had on so little sleep. She struggled with learning that screaming babies were a part of her life. She never knew that laundry, diapers and bottle washing could be endless. She envied her husband’s ability to leave the house for work. She wondered why she couldn’t figure it all out by herself. In essence, she questioned what she had gotten herself into.

She has settled in to her new job as the months have gone by. She belongs to a great forum for parents of multiples and has found ways to work with family. She is embracing the stay at home role which was not the original plan. She is more comfortable handling her two babies by herself out and about in the world.

But there are times when she desperately wants to join friends on evenings out to concerts, take a vacation with her husband, or spend weekends out of the house gardening instead of going to Walmart for diapers. She belongs to her family before herself from here on out but she knows that the tradeoff for this loss of individual time is the absolute love and wonder for her soul those two little boys that she created will provide.

We’ve gone out for a pedicure, grabbed a few hours out at trivia night and driven around on baby related errands. I was pleased to be able to watch her boys so she and her husband could have a fun night out with friends. I ask her how she is doing and try to refer her to helpful moms without telling her what I think she should do. I do this because I appreciate her as a friend and as a mom. I try to learn from her so that some day I can draw from her experience. And if I don’t happen to ever become a mom myself I’ll have at least learned vicariously some of what the job entails. I may not ever feel the love in my soul that only a mom experiences from her child, but then again I wouldn’t have to face endless days of changing diapers.

Comments

  1. I enjoyed your guest blogger sweetie.

  2. i could imagine how pressured her friend was during the first few months with her twins.. but i know seeing them smile, makes it all worth it.

  3. i can relate to this pressure her friend is going through but in the end, it's worth it.

    this is nice one chris:-D

  4. Loved the post! She sounds sweet! TFS

  5. stacybuckeye says:

    Gotta love the Bumbles! I'm where Molly is – watching friends have children with love and admiration.

  6. The Bumbles says:

    Thank you for all your kind words about my post – it was fun to create. Chris has such a great spot here on the web and I am honored she set aside a spot for me to contribute. Moms rock!

  7. farmlanebooks says:

    It is so nice to see a non-parent having these insights. I was the first of my friends to have children, so knew nothing about the stresses of children before becoming pregnant.

    Your friend is very lucky to have such a caring, support network around her.

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