When Children Resist Instructions

I would like to share a parenting tip that I received on my email. It is entitled When Children Resist Instructions….

When a child continually demonstrates resistance to instructions, then it’s time to decide whether you need to emphasize relationship more or you need to discipline for a lack of responsiveness.

Sometimes we take our children for granted, order them around, and don’t appreciate them enough. The result is children who tend to resist instructions. If that’s the case in your family then it’s time to show more love and emphasize the value of your relationships together.

On the other hand, some children resist instructions because of poor character. Training is work and some children need to learn how to demonstrate genuine responsiveness when someone wants to talk with them. If you ask your son to come help in the kitchen, and before you finish your instruction he’s whining and complaining, then stop the process. You may have to postpone discipline for a time because you need to get the table set in order to stay on schedule, but don’t just let it go.

After dinner, talk to your son and confront him about his poor attitude. Explain the importance of cooperation and that you’re going to have him help you with dinner every evening for a while. Increasing the workload to give more opportunity to practice may be just the constructive consequence needed to build a cooperative attitude.Kids want life to be easy. The reality is that life is hard. Cooperation is an essential character quality all children need and now’s the time to teach it.

For more on how to build a good Instruction Routine with your children, consider the Parenting is Heart Work Training Manuals and CDs. Lesson One outlines a five step Instruction Routine and helps you know how to teach it


  1. blessedmom says

    that's a nice one mommy chris! thanks for sharing! take care and have a blessed day! 🙂

  2. Mom of Four says

    My kids are the same, before I can even finish my sentence, I can hear whining and complaining. Roan will say he's tired, have belly ache, ugh! Thanks for sharing this Chris..

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