Ending Discipline Time Positively

This is a very helpful tip that I received from an email subscription. I would like to share it with you…

Disciplining children day-to-day often leaves tension in the parent/child relationship. Children feel angry, guilty, or fearful and their parents can be left with lingering frustration. One helpful solution for both parent and child is to have a debriefing after every discipline time. We call it a Positive Conclusion.

During the Positive Conclusion, talk about what went wrong, why it was wrong, and what the child might do differently next time. With younger children you might simply develop a routine, asking them questions in a gentle, non-accusing tone. With teens, a discussion is often helpful covering the same issues.

This kind of Positive Conclusion not only helps clear the air between parent and child but it also helps children think rightly about mistakes as they get older. Instead of self condemnation, a child learns to confess a mistake, determine why it was wrong, and then plan a better response for next time.

Be sure to end the Positive Conclusion with an affirmation like “Okay, go ahead and try again.” It’s the same kind of affirmation that Jesus gave to the woman caught in adultery in John 8 when he said, “Go and sin no more.”

This parenting tip was taken from the book, Home Improvement, The Parenting Book You Can Read to Your Kids, by Dr. Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller, RN, BSN.


  1. Lovely tip!

  2. Ending positively was in one my parenting books. It makes a huge difference on the disciplining, they feel more secure and confident in themselves afterwords. I like reassuring them that they are good kids that make mistakes like everyone else.

  3. hanks for this Chris, I am actually having issues with my daughter's attitude and this helps a lot.

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