Mommy Talks – Pepper Tan

Mommy Talks
Our guests for the month of July are single moms and today we will be featuring one of the pinay mommies from PMC  (Pinay Mommies Community), let us all welcome Ms. Pepper Tan!
Chris: Hello Pepper! For all our readers who don’t know you yet, can you please share a brief background about yourself.
Pepper: I am 35 years old. I work as a Senior Library Assistant at the International School Manila. I am a single mom, by circumstance, to a precocious 5-year old girl.

Chris: How long were you married before you and your hubby separated? How long has it been since? 

Pepper: We were married for two years before we decided to call it quits. It’s been 5 years now. I can hardly remember the reason for the separation. It’s all a blur to me now. Not because I’m bitter or anything like that, it’s just that, it’s a distant memory to me now. I guess, you could say we both made the difficult decision to give up, even if all hope wasn’t really lost.

Chris:  How did your child handle the separation? How did you explain your situation?

Pepper: Our daughter was only 11 months then. It’s only now that she’s starting to ask questions about why her daddy and I are no longer together. Here’s my blog post on that: http://pepperrific.com/2011/04/how-to-make-divorce-easy-on-children/ . The best answer I could come up with, when she first asked me that question, was that her papa has to work far away from where we live, that’s why he and I have to live apart. I guess eventually, when she gets older and wiser, I’ll have to tell her the truth…that is, if I can even remember why my ex-husband and I separated.

Chris: What are the effects on your child?

Pepper: Hard as I try to protect my kid from being affected by the situation, I can only do so much. She is starting to compare her situation with her classmates at preschool. Once, on our way home from a playdate with a friend, she asked me why her friend’s mama and papa are together, and why hers are apart. Again, I gave the the “work” reason, and I felt that slight pinch in my heart once more.

Chris: How do you raise your child as a single mother?

Pepper: There is no manual for raising kids as a single mom, so I just do whatever I can to take care of her the best way I know how. I try to shower her with so much love and affection, like she was the most precious jewel on earth. At times though, I feel frustrated when I feel I’m unable to handle certain situations, knowing that things would be better if I had a partner by my side to help me out.

Chris: Do you have a message you want to share with other moms who are in a similar situation as you are?

Pepper: We all have our own reasons for being single parents. Some of us are in this situation out of choice, some out of circumstance. Whatever our reasons, we all share something in common: we are God’s vessels of love. He has chosen us to bring our sons and daughters into this world, and to raise them into wonderful Heaven-sent beings. It’s never easy, but because we single parents are made of tougher stuff, we will succeed at carrying out God’s mission of love.

Chris: Thank you very much Pepper for sharing your life with us today. May other single moms find comfort in what you have shared today!  Get to know more about Pepper through her blog at The Pepperrific Life.

Comments

  1. It’s such a wonder how single moms do it, I could imagine how hard it is without a partner. But, I know God strengthens them more.

    By the way, I have a giveaway you might want to check out here: http://cazzapoeia.blogspot.com/2011/07/color-by-numbers-review-and-giveaway.html
    Thanks!

  2. wow! cute pic together! Idol ko yan si Pepper. hehe!

  3. salute to all the single moms out there! way to go Pepper! 🙂

  4. Thanks for the feature, Chris! And thanks for the encouraging comments 🙂

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