I am Getting Older… And the Questions That Go With It

Just a few days ago, I saw 3 strands of white hair. It doesn’t really bother me that I have white hair but it does make reality become undeniable: I AM GETTING OLDER.

 

With that realization, these questions come into mind:

1. Have I done what God wants me to do ?

2. Am I still doing what God wants me to do?  If not, what change should I make?

3. Am I closer to God than before?

4. Am I continuously learning?

5. What else do I want to accomplish for God?

 

Life is short, and with the days that God gives us, we should not take them for granted. As we age, we should number our days and be mindful of how we use the time given to us. Let’s ask these questions and truly reflect on how we want to spend the remaining days of our lives.

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Hospitalized Again for Dengue

After 4 years, I was hospitalized once again for Dengue. I had a low grade fever last weekend and by Monday, I really felt weak and couldn’t eat properly anymore. I had my blood checked and my platelets were already 91. Upon the doctor’s advise, I was admitted to the hospital and had to be confined for the next 5 days. My platelets continued to drop until Wednesday, where the count was now just 29. Thankfully, by Thursday my platelets were finally rising at 35 and on Friday, it was finally 74. Though far from the normal platelet count, I was discharged and rested at home.

This 2nd Dengue episode was far worse than my 1st one in 2010. I am thankful to God for the healing and recovery He has once again given me. I am also thankful for my husband who never left my side and took care of me during this difficult time. For the church who kept praying and took care of my kids while I was away, I will forever be grateful.

In moments like these, I realize that life is fleeting and really beyond our control. It is of utmost importance that with every breath that God gives us, we use it for His glory and be mindful of how we use the life He has given us.

On Those Kind of Days

There are days that I just wonder if I am doing the right thing. Choosing to homeschool the kids rather than sending them to school or getting a job which gives our family additional income. There are days when I think we should take steps of change.

On those kind of days, I choose to pray and seek counsel from the Word of God. God speaks so clearly and most of the time, He encourages and leads me in the way I should go. I just need to pause and be sensitive.

On those kind of days, I also ask those who have gone before me in the road of homeschooling and ask for their advice. Support and knowing that others have been through the same crossroads help me face the choices I need to make.

On those kind of days, I choose not to be selfish but to think of Jesus, and afterwards, I realize that the choices I need to make are those that He would choose since I have surrendered my life to Him.

On those kind of days, I need to be still and trust in Him. Don’t let fear overcome trust and faith in Jesus.

When There is a Death in the Family

Last week was a busy week. An uncle of my husband passed away. Life has once again interrupted our schedules to teach us lessons we can never learn unless we experienced this season of our life.

Death is a subject matter  you can never fully teach, yes you can discuss it with your kids but the reality only sinks in when one goes through it. Grief and regret are emotions that one goes through in this tough situation and we only learn to deal with is when we face it head on. We learn and  talk about how we should live with the days that God gives us. We sympathize and care for the ones who are grieving.

This is also the perfect time to reflect on each of our lives. We don’t know how much time we all have left. While there is an opportunity, why don’t we refocus our lives to what matters most in the end. What legacy do we want to leave behind? What message does our life send to those around us? Are there any words left unspoken? Are we ready for eternity with God or are we still unsure?

Death is an end to a life on earth but it can also bring new beginnings to those left behind.

Christ is Enough for Me

On those days that I wonder if I should continue what I am doing…

On those days that I wonder if I’m not wasting my time…

On thsose days that I wonder if it matters at all…

On those days that I wonder if anyone remembers…

I choose to look to Christ.

…and I find immeasurable joy.

…and unending peace.

… and unconditional love.

He is the reason for all that I am.

He is the hope of all that I can be.

He is the love that moves me.

So I press on…

hold on…

and keep on.

Christ is enough for me.