Motherhood Thoughts

IMG_5629I am at a loss for words. Whenever I think about  motherhood, I can’t seem to find the appropriate words to describe what I want to write about it. Being a mother for the past 9 years, I have changed and grew so much.

If you ask me to enumerate what are the joyful moments of motherhood, I won’t be able to chose! From the first time I laid my eyes on my babies or our late night breastfeeding sessions or hearing them talk for the first time or seeing how much my kids love each other, there are just too many wonderful moments that motherhood has brought to me.

If you ask me to enumerate what are the unforgettable moments, I would say that it was when my son cried as I was explaining to him why he needs to be disciplined or when my daughter needs to do something that she doesn’t like to do. These are the moments when I see my kids grow and mature. Stretching out from their comfort zones, learning from their mistakes and trying something new.

One day, all of these will be nothing but memories. I am  overwhelmed with gratefulness to the Lord for every moment that I get to spend with my kids. As we spend each day together, I have come to know them and truly see their heart. I myself have changed and grown in ways I never could have if I didn’t become a mom.

Thank you God for giving me the gift of motherhood. 

Mommy Talks – Patricia Cuyugan

Mommy Talks

Mommy Talks is a weekly feature of different moms. I have been featuring work at home moms for the past months. This will be our second to the last feature on work at home moms. For today’s feature, please welcome Ms. Patricia Cuyugan. I’ve met her through some mommy bloggers event.

Hi Patty!  So happy that you agreed to be featured today. Please tell us more about yourself. 

My name is Patricia Cuyugan, and I’m a young mom and wife, a freelance writer and mom blogger, an event planner on occasion, and a self-confessed crochet addict. I’ve been married for a year and a half to my high school sweetheart (yes, we’ve been together for 13 years!) and we have a 7-year old boy, who just happens to be his daddy’s mini me.

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I enjoy cooking, and eating as well. I enjoy reading, and my Kindle is filled with an eclectic mix of novels, from The Notebook to Game of Thrones. I love to travel, and I’ve been to many places within the Philippines. I’ve only been out of the country once though, on a Hong Kong trip with family back when I was 9 years old. My boys like travelling too, and we hope to visit Disneyland or Lego Land soon. The three of us spend a lot of time together in the single bedroom we currently call home, playing board games and video games, reading, and basically making a big mess. We hope to move in to our own house this year, which is definitely an exciting thing to look forward to for our family.

I have quite the colourful work background, beginning with my first job ever as an administrative assistant for an events company that organized rock concerts and music contests. After that, I had a very regrettable, and thankfully brief, stint as a foreign exchange trader. I then moved on to life in the corporate jungle as a marketing events officer in a big telecommunications company. I stayed there for four years, the longest stay among all of my jobs. I spent a year working as a mall marketing officer after that, and at the same time writing freelance on the side. Eventually I let go of my day job and switched to full-on WAHM mode after a year in the mall.

Can you tell us about your journey to WAHM-hood?

On my son’s last year at pre-school, my husband and I decided that it would be best if one of us became really hands-on with homework and reviewing once he moved to big school. While that’s initially what drove me to explore the possibility of working from home, I also eventually got tired of the daily grind. I started working while I was in college, and I was really looking for a change of pace.

Of course, more than anything, I wanted to spend time with my kid. I realized that he was growing up so quickly and that I had already missed out on so much, and that realization made me quite sad.

I tried to remedy the situation by moving to a job closer to home, which was my job at a mall, but there I had long hours and a 6-day work week, so it wasn’t much better than when I was commuting to and from Makati every day. Plus, I took on freelance writing work during that time, which was a realization of a lifelong dream, more than anything else. So I was also spending my time at home doing work.

Eventually, my husband pointed out that I was earning more from my writing side line than I was from my day job, and he encouraged me to freelance full time. Naturally, I was afraid that I wouldn’t make it, that I wouldn’t be able to find work, or that I wouldn’t be good enough to sustain a job as a writer. But he encouraged me to give it a shot and said that I can always go back to a regular job if I find that the work from home scene wasn’t working out for me. He promised to support our family while I was just starting out. So I did it, I made the jump, and by the end of May, I will celebrate my first anniversary as a WAHM.

I now happily work from home as a freelance writer, and I specialize in scriptwriting for events and AVPs. I also do article writing, web content and blog writing.

What steps did you take to become a work at home mom?

I tested the waters first, making sure that there was something I could do on my own. I didn’t want to give up my job without knowing that there was freelance work waiting for me, so I lined up a few projects for the months after my resignation. Most importantly, I enlisted the support of my friends and family. The encouragement that I get from them really helps get me through the tough times up until now.

Looking back though, one thing I should have made sure of was that we had savings to carry us through at least 6-8 months without income. At the time of my resignation, we were set for about 3-4 months. I realize now that I should have built a bigger safety net before making that big a change. But we got by, nevertheless, with faith and a lot of hard work.

What are the struggles you face being a work at home mom? How do you overcome them?

The biggest challenge for me is actually sitting down and getting to work, and not spending my day playing or watching TV with my son. I was never really good with schedules too, so it takes a lot of effort for me to plan my day well and to make sure I fight the temptation to procrastinate. A lot of it involves being disciplined and making sure that you get the important things done first, whether that’s errands or work or grocery shopping. I try to prioritize the really urgent stuff on my to-do list for the day.

Waking up early is always a good way to get a head start. I also give myself a computer curfew, meaning all work and social media activities should be done by a certain time, and I turn my laptop off and start winding down. This is a really useful trick for me otherwise I end up sleeping really late, and in effect, I wake up late the next day.

Not every day is busy actually, and I find myself sometimes in between projects with nothing to do. During times like those I worry about lost income, like I’m sure most freelancers do, but at the same time, I try to relish the fact that I don’t have deadlines to meet, and use those as mini-vacations. I spend time with my husband and son, we go see a movie, I prepare something special for lunch or dinner, stuff like that to also help me de-stress.

Were your expectations met? Why?

My expectations were met, yes, in the sense that I really got the time that I wanted to spend caring for my family. At the same time, the stress level of working from home is much lower than what I had to go through as an employee. This was something I was hoping for, and I’m happy that it generally is the case, for me at least.

On the other hand, while I am less stressed, I am more tired, both physically and mentally. I do more things and am on my feet more now than when I was in an office. At the same time, I need to think about work while thinking about what meals to prepare, what activities my son can do while I work, errands and other responsibilities, and the list goes on. My mind is constantly working now. But it’s a rewarding sort of tired, so I really don’t mind.

What advice can you give to those who want to take this journey?

Making the switch to a work-at-home setup really is a journey, a big one that you should make sure you are prepared for. First of all, make sure you know what kind of work you want to do or what you are capable of doing. If you can, try doing it as a side line first before you actually go and make the switch, just so you are sure that you can do it, you can earn from it, and you can sustain it. Choose something that you will love.

Second, be strong. A lot of changes are coming your way, and you need to be firm about your decisions and strong willed on your actions so that you can move forward. Third, enlist support. No matter how strong you are, you will need someone to encourage you and help you get settled. Remember that not everyone will understand your choice, and sadly some people still think that people who are working from home just lie in bed all day browsing the internet aimlessly. It is best if you have someone to talk to who knows what you are doing and who understands what you are going through.

And finally, no matter how busy things get for you as a WAHM, remember the reason why you chose to leave your job in the first place. Family comes first, and you have to remember to fulfil your responsibilities as a mom and a wife above all. You will definitely feel happier and more fulfilled if you do.

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You can find Patricia online at mrspcuyugan.com. Here, she shares about her daily adventures as a wife and mom who is still learning the ropes of making a home, while working from home at the same time. To learn more about her as a freelance writer, check out her portfolio at patriciacuyugan.wordpress.com.

Thanks Patty for sharing your story! Hopefully, other moms out there will find inspiration and courage to take that WAHM leap, just like you did! :)

Mommy Talks – Kaye Mendez

Mommy Talks

Mommy Talks is a weekly feature of different moms. For this new season, I am featuring work at home moms. Today’s guest is a friend I’ve met online, Ms. Kaye Mendez of WAHMaholic

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Hi Kaye. I am honored to feature you today. Can you share something about yourself  so our readers can know you better? 

I am Kaye. I’m a twenty-eight year old work at home mom, and together with my partner Paulie (who is an Illustrator artist), we design WordPress sites for a living. I have a daughter named Svetlana, who will turn five this May. We recently moved to Caloocan City from Baguio City, where we lived for five years. I write in a couple of blogs on my spare time, and I am crazy about colors, fonts and bubble wraps.

Can you share your journey to becoming a work-at-home mom?

Being a work-at-home-mom was not what I envisioned myself to be when I was in college. I didn’t even study for being a web designer (I took up Business Management in the University of the East in Caloocan). I worked for two years as a proofreader then as a writer/researcher in a couple of firms. But when I was almost about to give birth to Svet, an urge to work from home nagged at me so hard. I have been working from home since March 2008, but it wasn’t until after I gave birth that I started to learn how to code and design.

What steps did you take to become a work at home mom?

I resigned from work two months before Svet’s arrival, and did writing and research for an online company for a two months before I created my very first blog on Blogger. I wasn’t contented with the free themes that I could get my hands on at that time, so I decided to learn how to do it myself. Several months later, I bought my own domain and had it on WordPress. I took an even bigger challenge of learning the ropes of WordPress coding and design. I haven’t looked back since.

What are the struggles you face being a work at home mom? How do you overcome them?

Working at home wasn’t an easy decision to make at the time, as I had a lot of insecurities and uncertainties. It certainly wasn’t a walk in the park in the first two years. When I mustered enough courage to start charging people for my design services, there weren’t a lot of bloggers willing to entrust their blog design to someone who just started doing it, someone self-taught, at that. I was very frustrated as it was barely bringing food on our table, but I held tight. I found online friends who boosted my morale (a big shout out to my Marce club!) and who helped me spread the word about my business. It was not a lot, but it was more than enough.

Was your expectations met? Why?

I didn’t expect working from home to be this fulfilling. I expected to miss working in the office in the early years. Certainly, I didn’t expect to be earning a lot. Time has proven me wrong, and now I believe my choice to work from home is one of the best decisions I’ve ever made in life, as I cannot imagine any other work more suitable for me. I love doing what I do, I love it more because I earn an amount bigger than I imagined I could earn, and I love it most because it allows me to be the mom who’s always there for Svet whenever she needs me.

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What advice can you give to those who want to take this journey?

Being a WAHM is worth all the initial frustration, is what I always say to people who ask me if they should pursue working from home. The hardship will always be there, but if you find one thing you are passionate about and find a way to earn from it in the comforts of your own home, stick to it and you will reap the rewards far better than you have imagined. Be strong and never let it go. Find fellow Pinay WAHMs who can relate to you, as they will serve as an important lifeline as you go through this journey. Most importantly, always ask for guidance from Above.

Where can we see your work online?

If you’re looking for me elsewhere on the Internet, I can also be found at my other blog, Beauty Queen Gene, my kikay outlet. I also have a LinkedIn account, a Twitter account and I am  constantly on Facebook as well. Paulie and I house all our WordPress themes at Squeesome! Designs, and we hope to see you there soon and work on a project together!

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Thank you Kaye!

How To Enjoy Staying at Home With Your Kids

When I started my journey as a stay at home mom 9 years ago, I didn’t know what to expect. All I knew was that I wanted to personally care for my child and be there as she grows up. I knew that my lifestyle was about to change and I needed to learn new skills to become effective at home.

I didn’t know how to cook. I never had taken care of an infant before. I didn’t know how to manage the household. I didn’t know where to start. Looking after children below 5 and staying at home is not easy. The schedule can get pretty full and there are so many chores that needs to be done. How can you, as a mom, enjoy staying at home with your kids, when there are so many things that needs to be done at home?

Here are some lessons I have learned over the years:
1. Hire help. You can hire outside help to come at least once a week to your place to help clean up. Just like those carpet cleaner nyc services from the States, you can call someone to clean up your lawn for you, clean the bathroom or do some major cleaning around the house.

2. Plan your day. Make sure you do the important chores for the day and leave the things you can do later for another day. Errands that needs to be done before due date like electricity bills, grocery chores and credit card payments need to be done first.

3. Schedule a “me time” each day. Whether it is an hour of reading a book, watching movies or being online, you need to schedule a time that you do something that can help you relax.

4. Learn to say “no”. You shouldn’t be joining all activities since this can cause additional stress to your family life. Prioritize which social activities are necessary and important.

5. Don’t be afraid to learn new skills. Whenever there are things that you don’t know, don’t fret. Look at it as opportunities to learn new skills and grow as a person.

Amidst all the horror stories we have been hearing, staying at home can be an enjoyable experience. We just need to learn to balance and prioritize.

Do leave a comment if you have any other tips you’d like to share.

Mommy Talks – Patricia Alix-Villa

Mommy Talks

Mommy Talks is a weekly feature of different moms. For this new season, I am featuring work at home moms. My guest for today is the one who made the design for my blog theme. I really loved working with her and I am honored that she agreed to be featured today. Let us welcome Ms. Patricia Alix-Villa!

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Hello Pat!  I am excited to feature you today. Anyway, to get started, please tell us more about yourself. 

My name is Patricia Alix-Villa, and I’m a mom and wife, artist, graphic and web designer, and owner of Fancy Girl Design Studio.
I have 2 wonderful & rambunctious boys, aged 8 and 3 years old, and I’m married to an amazingly supportive husband who is my rock and my best friend. We’ve been married 9 years now, and live in Singapore (where my husband was transferred by his company a few months after our wedding).

I’ve been painting and designing as far back as I can remember. I started designing clothes for my paper dolls when I was 5, and all I spent most of my childhood drawing, daydreaming, and reading books. My parents encouraged my artistic efforts, but I never dreamed that I would one day make a career out of it. I taught Psychology for 7 years at UP, and received a Fulbright grant to study for my MA at the University of Massachusetts. I left it eventually when I set up a design firm & crafts business (back home, in 2000) and the business took off.

I love to do crafts, I love to bake & cook (and eat!), I’m crazy about fantasy novels, and I’m currently obsessed about interior design. We bought our first home last year and I’ve been busy decorating it myself. It’s still a work in progress, but I absolutely love the process! I like to prettify everything, and I find rearranging the furniture very therapeutic. My kids have gotten so used to seeing a different layout every couple of weeks, they’ve started giving me suggestions for the next time I rearrange it again. =)

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Pat’s family

Can you tell us about your journey to becoming a work at home mom?

This is a long story. =)

After I gave birth to my first baby, I just knew I couldn’t leave him with a maid. I also absolutely wanted to breastfeed him exclusively. We were blessed that we really didn’t need a 2nd source of income in order to survive, so the choice to stay home and take care of him myself was easy for me to make. My husband was fully supportive of my decision to stay home.

Living abroad with no relatives to rely on meant taking care of my baby 24/7. It took a lot of adjustments on my part, because I was used to having maids at home — now all of a sudden I had a baby to take care of, a home to manage, and no one else to help me except for my husband. My parents are both really busy with their manufacturing business and countless advocacies and charities, that it was unthinkable for either of them to come over and help out for long periods. So I took it one day at a time, and lost my sanity and found it again in repeated cycles.

Eventually, of course, my baby grew up and needed me less and so I found that I had time on my hands — and I discovered blogging. At that time I blogged over at Multiply, and found a wonderful way to connect with others moms who were going through the same thing. A younger cousin told me one day that I could actually change the theme on my Multiply site. I was like, REALLY? Why didn’t I know about this before? I was like a kid in a candy store, learning CSS and changing the look of my site as often as I changed the sheets. Eventually, friends started asking me to design their sites, which I did for free, of course. I even submitted free themes at the multiply customized themes group.

I think my web design business started after Multiply held a theme contest (2009, I think?), and one of the admin people actually asked me if I wanted to join. I didn’t really think I was qualified at that time, but I entered one of my themes in the contest and got 2nd place (I tied with some kick-ass professional designers, so I got a big kick out of that). After that, the inquiries started pouring in and the rest as they say, is history. =)

I did my first WordPress theme shortly after, for Neva of ManilaMommy.com. I will never forget that because she introduced me to the wonderful world of WordPress, and to other mommy bloggers. Eventually, I left Multiply and concentrated on WordPress and Blogspot themes because I got frustrated at the limits of what we can do over at Multiply. I continued teaching myself about web design, learning more with each project that came my way, and meeting so many wonderful clients. I love doing what I do, and I’m just really blessed that I was able to make a career out of my passion. Note that I had no business plan, no marketing plan. I just keep doing what I love, giving great customer service, and letting my work speak for itself.

Wow! So that is how Fancy Girl Designs started. Can you tell us more about what you do in Fancy Girl Design Studio? 

Fancy Girl Designs offers pretty, practical, professional web & graphic designs with a distinctly clean aesthetic. My goal is to provide you with a beautiful, elegant design that will attract readers without overpowering your content. I specialize in an array of design services for web, brand identity, and printed materials. My favorite clients are mommy bloggers and mompreneurs.

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What are the struggles you face being a work at home mom? How do you overcome them?

The biggest challenge of course is managing my time. I’m a one-woman show, I work from home, I have 2 kids to take care of, a house to manage, and still no maid to help me out. =) It helps a lot that my “office” is inside the boys’ bedroom/playroom. So I can watch them while they play, and they can come to me when they need anything — even if it’s just to show me the lego spaceship they created, or to kiss a boo-boo. When he comes home from school, my older son does his homework beside me while I work. Yes, I’m always multi-tasking. That goes with being a mom, working or not.

Time management is all about prioritizing and so I do that consciously and constantly. I rarely have time to blog now, which is sad. But it isn’t my priority anymore. I only go out on weekends, and I never go out with friends for coffee or shopping, it’s just not possible with the workload I have. (We do socialize on weekends, and we go to bible study every Friday night.) My husband is the most supportive husband anyone can ever have. He understands when I have to work overtime on a project, and will take care of the kids some nights so I can work.

Were your expectations met? Why?

More than I have ever dreamed. I think working from home is fantastic. It allows me to be with my kids while earning an income and finding self-fulfillment from doing what I love. I was there for every milestone, I kissed away every tear, and celebrated every small triumph with them. What more can I ask for? (Ok, a spa massage would be great once in a while, and I would love to go out for coffee and talk about things other than Ninjago and Lightning Mcqueen. haha).

What advice can you give to those who want to take this journey?

Go for it! The sacrifice and hard work getting there is so worth it. But don’t do it without the support of your spouse. Talk it over and pray about. It’s a big decision, but if you think it’s the right one for you, then by all means, start planning for it now.

Working from home means not having proper barriers between work and home. Find a way to make some. Get a proper desk if you need a desk. Make sure to keep it neat, organized and pretty! Manage your time properly and set a schedule for your working hours and stick to it.


Find inspiration where you can. Get support from everyone. Always remember who you’re doing it for in the first place.

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Thank you Pat for sharing your story. Your story inspires us moms to find our own passion and to excel in it.  

To see more of Pat’s work, drop by her site at http://fancygirldesignstudio.com/