Another Parenting Tip

Here is another parenting tip I want to share with you, taken from an email subscription.

Good Parenting Doesn’t Always Work

As a parent, you’ve probably discovered that even when you do right things with your kids, at times problems develop and you have to make adjustments. As you examine your current routine, you may discover that in an attempt to do something helpful such as talk things through, you’ve actually encouraged something unhelpful such as arguing. You may find that you’re not actually doing something wrong but the pattern that’s developed has become unhealthy.

After thinking about what happens when her son badgers, one mom told us, “All I do is respond to his questions. There’s nothing wrong with that. In fact, I thought it was good to talk with your kids.… It’s just that he won’t quit.” It’s true that talking with kids is helpful most of the time, but when parents indulge a badgering child, they become part of the problem.

After you identify negative patterns in your relationship, you don’t have to feel guilty that you’ve been doing it all wrong for years. The fact is that you’ve probably been doing a lot of things right. You just need a change because it’s time to emphasize something different. We find that many parents feel like failures when problems come because they’ve been doing what they think is right but it isn’t working. The fact is that one particular right thing may not be the best thing for your family at this time. The sooner you can see problems and make adjustments the better.

Parents must make changes regularly. It’s part of the job. Flexibility is important. In fact one mom said if Jesus would have written beatitudes for parents he would have said, “Blessed are the flexible” and “Blessed are those who know when to take a stand for righteousness and when to just love ’em.” Pray a lot and ask the Lord for wisdom. In the end you’ll be surprised at the progress your children make.

This parenting tip comes from the book Good and Angry, Exchanging Frustration for Character In You and Your Kids by Dr Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller, RN,BSN.

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