While growing up, I remember that my friends and peers had a lot of influence on where I went or what I do. Though I didn’t really do what everyone was doing but it definitely had an impact on what I think… I didn’t really had a close relationship with my parents so that played a huge part. This parenting tip is a reminder to all of us moms that we need to be proactive in our relationship with our kids.
Has your child ever come to you and made the statement “Everyone’s doing it,” to get you to give in to a request? Children use all kinds of tactics to get permission for things parents would rather not say yes to. Keep these three things in mind when you are challenged with that statement.
First, sometimes kids believe that appropriate behavior is determined by the culture. Rather, the rules you set up are based upon the values you hold. Different families have different values so as parents we need to decide what values and convictions we are going to use to determine the rules and expectations for our own families.
Second, not everyone else is doing it. There are many families that set guidelines similar to, or even more strict, than yours. Children have a tendency to find more permissive families to compare themselves to so they can ask for more.
Third, recognize that this statement is a manipulative technique. It makes us feel like we’re depriving our kids of something. Parenting is hard work and too many parents are unwilling to take a stand for what’s right and for values that are wholesome and healthy.
Don’t let your children push your buttons with the statement, “Everyone’s doing it.” Instead, use the opportunity to teach them about your convictions and the values behind the rules you set.
This tip is from the book, Home Improvement, the Parenting Book You Can Read to Your Kids by Dr. Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller, RN, BSN.