Once my kids starts to argue, sometimes I just want to tell them to fight it out or just pretend that I don’t hear anything… but as a mom, I know that I need to teach them how to solve their conflicts and help them resolve their relationship issues.
If the solutions that I offer don’t bring lasting changes then I know that I am not doing what I am tasked to do. You see, the home is the classroom where the kids learn about how to get along with others.
This parenting tip comes from the book Say Goodbye to Whining, Complaining, and Bad Attitudes In You and Your Kids by Dr Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller, RN, BSN.
“When two children are fighting, call one out of the room and talk about how to deal with the conflict. Teach children how to confront, ignore, negotiate, compromise, talk about problems, and be peacemakers. Then send the child back into the situation to try again. If necessary, call the second child out and give helpful suggestions before trying again. Whatever you do, don’t try to discipline them together. Kids have an amazing way of deflecting discipline when they’re together.
Be listening to your children’s interaction and continue to coach them in relationships. You may call the same child out of an activity five or ten times in an hour to continue to point out the change that needs to take place. Help children know what right actions are appropriate, and as long as they are willing to try to do the right thing, send them back into the situation to try again.
Use sibling conflict to teach about healthy relationships. It takes a lot of work but you’ll be preparing your children to deal with the difficult relationships they’ll encounter for the rest of their lives.”
Do you have any similar experiences when your kids have conflict? Any tips you’d like to share?