Am I Showing Love?

Today’s topic At The Well is about LOVE. A topic we moms know fully well. Or don’t we?

There are two questions posted for us to ponder upon..
Are you showing love to your family, or are you finding yourself more and more often entertaining selfishness and self pity?

If you are entertaining your flesh, what can you do today to change that and make your home a place of love and contentment?

Sometimes, when we are asked if we love our spouse and our kids, the answer YES automatically comes out of us. We dont think about it anymore because we are used to it. But today’s post is asking us to check our hearts and our actions.

When we are serving our family, do we do it with LOVE or just as an obligation? I am guilty that a lot of times, I am doing my obligation just because it is my responsibility. I am a task or list oriented person. Much of my tasks are done so that I can take it off the “must do” list. Love is not evident in the touch or in the chore.

There are also days that I battle selfishness and self-pity. I know that it is a lie that can hinder me from becoming a more loving mom and wife to my hubby. With today’s post, I am challenge to check my heart and attitude. I am to be more loving and more prayerful. The suggestion from At The Well is very timely. As I do a chore, I am challenging myself to pray for my hubby or my kids. In doing so, my heart is doing the action out of love and I am in the will of God.

I challenge you today, to check your hearts with me.

At The Well – Thankful For My Hubby

Today’s theme for At The Well is to list down why you are thankful for your husband…

I am so thankful for my hubby because…

… he loves God above all. He wants to serve God and be intimate with Christ. He has a passion for God’s Word and understands it so well.

… he is a responsible person.

… he does his best in everything that he does.

… he is a good daddy to our kids.

…he can make me laugh.

…he cooks great.

… he is an inspiration for me. He inspires me to do better as a wife, a mom, a follower of God and as a person.

Thank you Lord for choosing him to be my partner in life.

At The Well – Friendship With Our Husbands

Gathering At the Well

The discussion questions for this week:
What other scriptures did you find pertaining to friendship?

Perhaps one of the most famous scriptures on friendship is Prov 17:17 “A friend loves at all times”.
Another one is “He who covers and forgives an offense seeks love, but he who repeats or harps on a matter separates even close friends”. Prov 17:9
And Jesus said “You are My friends if you keep on doing the things which I command you to do.” John 15:14
“No one has greater love [no one has shown stronger affection] than to lay down (give up) his own life for his friends.” John 15:13

How do those scriptures relate to your marriage?

Hubby and I became friends first before we got married. We were in the same group of friends in church. Friendship is what goes us together in the first place. Now, to keep our relationship alive and thriving, I believe we have to have a solid friendship. One that is based on the Bible. Looking at the scriptures I have mentioned above, I believe that I need to love him unconditionally and accept him for who he is. Like a true friend does. I need to have forgiveness in my heart for his short comings. I need our friendship to grow, just like plants, we need sunlight, water and space so it will grow healthy and strong.

What are some ways you die to self in your marriage?

By not being too proud to admit if you are wrong.
By serving and submitting to my husband.
By sharing and supporting his mission and vision in life.

Do you have any ideas as to how we can develop a deeper physical, emotional, and spiritual intimacy with our husbands?

I think as wives, we should be transparent to our husbands. Sometimes, we need to tell them what we really feel and share it to them (because at times, they can really be clueless about what’s going on). We also need to be interested in what they are doing, whether it is work-related, ministry-related or other stuff. We can offer our support by lending them a hand in areas they are struggling with instead of nagging.
Of course, we need to really read the Word and spend time with God. When our husbands come home, we can pray together and share our spiritual insights with them.

How do you sharpen your husbands countenance?

My husband is a very busy man. He works full time as an IT Manager and he also is a Pastor in our church, focusing on small groups. Most of the time, he is tired when he is home. I try to encourage him and tell him he is doing a good job. I listen to him and give my opinion when he asks for it. I support him in his endeavors in whatever way I can. I know I am no where near pearfect. I just really want to be his helpmeet. That is why I married him in the first place. I know I can still do much better, I just need to continually connect with God and learn from others too.

At The Well – Making the Home More Inviting for the Kids

Gathering At the Well

The discussion questions for this week are:

Are there areas of hardness and coldness in my life? What are the roots of these? Do I need to release someone who has hurt me in my past? Do I need to confess and release myself from the bondage of sinful patterns in my own life?

What are some ways that I can turn the conversation around when other women begin to gripe and complain about their children?

Name some creative ways we can create warmer, more inviting environments for our children.

I used to be angry at my dad for being always in a hurry when he is at home; being angry at little things; not being “open” with us. I didn’t understand then that he might be tired, just wants the best for us or that he just doesnt know how to “talk” to us. It took me years to understand. Now that I am a mother, I pray that I will be able to learn from my dad’s shortcomings.

I have to remember : The children doesn’t REALLY KNOW what I feel (if I’m tired or stressed or how my day has been). The children WANTS me to talk to them and make them part of my world. They WANT me to be INTERESTED at them and their world. The children LOVES me. They don’t want to see me sad, angry or lonely. If they see I’m angry, they might THINK its because of them.

Since my kids are ages 5 and 2, I play with them as much as possible, goof around with them, read books together, sing songs, dance together, watch movies beside them, talk to them, bring them to the playground. Be INTERESTED in them. LISTEN to them. BE THERE.

If other moms are complaining, maybe we can remind them of how blessed they are to have children. Many women want to become moms but aren’t as blessed. Another is to ask the moms about the positive traits of their children. Lastly, maybe I would recommend that the mom re-evaluate herself too. A lot of times, children only reflect what they see in us.

I am no expert in this area, so I am excited to read entries from more experienced moms out there. Let’s check out what they have to say!

At The Well – Friendship in Your Family

Gathering At the Well

This week’s questions At The Well are:

What is your definition of friendship?
Did you follow the belief that we should not be friends with our children? Has that changed?
In what ways can we befriend our husbands and children?
What can we do to teach those skills to someone else?

I think parents should be friends with the children. When I was growing up, I wanted to be able to talk to my parents about anything. I didn’t have this kind of relationship with them, so I thought then that when I have my own kids, I want to be friends with them. I want to know what is happening to them, to be there for them and to be of help to them.

Now that I have my own kids, even though they are still small, I am making it a habit that I talk to them about anything and that I am there for them to answer their questions. That I am there to offer comfort. I am not an expert in this so I try reading posts from mothers who had been there and what they advice.

My hubby is my best friend, and I believe I am his. We can tell each other anything and know that we are loved. Between my hubby and me, he is the more “vocal” one. I listen to him and offer my advice when he needs or when he asks for it. I encourage him when he is down or remind him what he has forgotten. We are partners and I think friendship has a huge part in making our relationship strong.

I am not sure how to teach this to someone else. Maybe, when someone asks for advice, I can share my own story to them. Anyway, that is one of the reasons why I have put up this blog.

Head to At The Well to check what others are saying.