Read This Before You Give Up!

Today is one of those days. When I seriously consider if what I’m doing is helping my child become the person God has called him to be or am I just causing him to go the other way. When questions like “Am I forcing him to be someone he is not? Or do I see that he just needs that extra push? Am I becoming over bearing already?” fills my mind.

What do you do when your 8 year old son seems undecided, not exhibiting perseverance or diligence? When he seems to lack self-confidence whenever he is faced with unfamiliar situations? When these are the very reasons why we are homeschooling our child, because we want him to grow up with the fear of the Lord and so that he can be what God has called him to be. He will be a person of character and integrity.

But I don’t see any of that today.

My first thought was “I give up.” I immediately doubted that homeschooling is working for him. Maybe he needs to deal with it by himself, in a school setting and he might just find himself and his strength, just as I was raised. I felt like waving that white flag on homeschooling and just send him to a private school and not have to deal with these issues anymore.

After calming down, I realize that this is precisely the time NOT TO GIVE UP. These trials and challenges will one day be triumphs as God changes my son’s heart and my heart along the way.  I just need to develop perseverance myself.

Here are lessons I learned today:

I need to pray more and rely on myself less. Commit my son to Jesus and pray that he will grow up and be the man God has called him to be.  Realize that it is beyond my power to change his heart but I can keep praying for him.

I need to be more sensitive about my children’s emotional needs. Homeschooling is not just teaching, explaining and modeling but it is also empathizing with their weakness and  helping them overcome it and seeing their strengths. Now that my children are 8 years and above, parenting is not just about giving instructions and meeting physical needs but there is a whole new dimension that I need to learn especially in being a coach and a mentor as they face new stages in their life.

I need to adjust as every child develops differently. I should never compare the development of one child to the other. Spend more time understanding each child and appreciate them for who they are now and inspire them to become who they can be.

Don’t make decisions when emotions are running high. Most often than not, the decision you will make is not the right one. This is probably an old lesson and one that I already know well. But I just needed to remind myself of this today.

Have you faced similar situations yourself? I’d love to hear from you today.

Comments

  1. You are doing great, Chris! Especially with having two kids under your wing. You did it for many years already so I know you can do it. I, on the one hand, have sooo many moments like this — giving up. Until now, I still carry that thought every time and still undecided if i can continue another year. I don’t have the discipline, and my son have yet to improve on his diligence, obedience and focus. Good luck to us!

  2. What a very timely blog to read for me, mommy Chris. Sometimes, we question if we’re doing the right thing, but you’re right, if we’re looking at ourselves to do the work in their hearts, in them, we will certainly be selling them short. 🙂

  3. Excellent reminders! For me, that “rely on yourself less/look to God more” thing is a growth area [smile]. And I love the reminder to keep focused on the needs and unique elements of each child. I appreciate the opportunities to “study my kids” and learn who they are and cheer them along to becoming who God wants them to be (and that is a life-long process with ups and downs, as you and I know from our own lives).

    Good stuff. Thanks for sharing!

    ~Luke

    • Thanks for dropping by and leaving a comment Luke. Parenting is so much heart work and knowing that others are on the same path encourages me.

  4. Even if I’m not homeschooling, I still tutor them and help them do homework. I can relate to the thought of giving up, especially when they don’t seem to listen to me. I really need God to work on their hearts. I need to calm down before doing anything when I’m angry or sad.

    • God is working on our own lives while we parent, and it requires His grace for us to pull through. Thanks for leaving a comment Cym!

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